We got the keys to our current rental in April. Until this past weekend, the lawn had only been mowed once.
Texas is dry. Our lawn is mostly weeds and even they have struggled to survive. Did the lawn look messy? Yes! Did it need to be taken care of? The HOA hadn’t said anything yet. ;)
My husband and I had both commented on it a few times, acknowledging that the lawn would need to be mowed soon. I told him on several occasions that I believed someone (possibly a neighborhood kid) would come by & offer to cut it for cash. It would be nice to pay a person instead of a business for something like this and hopefully they’d be willing to come back every so often to maintain it. Let’s face it, we weren’t getting it done ourselves.
On Saturday there was a knock at the door as we were getting ready to go run errands. My husband stepped outside. I couldn’t make out what was being said, but I did hear an older gentleman say “Please”. There was so much behind that one word that I already knew we would be helping him if possible. When he came back in my husband said the man had asked if he could cut our grass & told me a more than reasonable price. The look on his face told me he had also heard a lot in that “Please”. “Of course! Yes!” I said as I pushed him back to the door.
We took our time getting ready to leave for the day. Soon there was another knock on the door. I asked my son to please get a bottle of water for the gentleman as my husband and I stepped outside. The yard looked much better, of course. My husband paid him, being sure to give him a bit extra and handed him the water. We stood there chatting for a few moments with him admiring Muffin as she smiled shyly at him from my arms. We will see him again in a few weeks to cut the backyard and will likely request his help as long as we live in this house.
Our day had started like most and I was a bit stressed trying to get everyone ready for errands when he first arrived. When we left the house, I was much in a much more appreciative mood. Being able to say yes to someone’s plea is a great feeling. I’m so glad we let the grass grow.
October is always a tough month for me and this year has been harder than previous years. On top of my emotional distress, I feel very burdened mentally.
When Cupcake & Cookie were little, I had the internet, but there was no Pinterest or Facebook. I am sure I had typical mom worries, but life with Biscuit & Muffin has been much different. I spend most of my day feeling like a crap mom. Those few times I feel awesome, a quick peek on Facebook will bring me down a notch.
“Yes, I fed all the kids today. We played/read books/watched movies/had an okay day. If I was really a good mom, I would’ve turned it into a science lesson/abstract art project/college essay practice. I suck.”
My internal dialogue as I browse my newsfeed is very negative. Throw in my usual October gloom & this has been a very hard month to keep in touch with people! I’ve found that as much as I don’t want to withdraw from friends & family, trying to keep up with them through this venue has not been healthy for me this month.
I deleted the Facebook messenger app (it was really draining my battery!), deleted the Pinterest app, & turned off push notifications from Facebook on my phone. I’m actively trying to enjoy my time with the kids and remind myself that this time is precious. I am spending it well, even if it’s not how others would spend it. I feel better not reading overachiever status updates on a daily basis & the guilt has lessened.
I am a good mom & I know I’m not alone in my feelings. I’ve seen a few friends write about it, my sister-in-law blogged about this topic recently, and a good friend checked in on me via text to remind me of this. Everyone puts the best version of themselves online. It’s unrealistic and can push people away without you even realizing it. I’m making a concrete effort to share my real life when I post about it (be here or on Facebook). My life is messy, chaotic & amazing. Those crappy parts are as much a part of my life as the Pinterest perfect moments & I don’t want to push their importance aside.
Do you post about a realistic version of your life or just the glossy magazine edition?