Jens2Cents

Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

The last few months have been pretty busy in the real world. Most of November amd December saw us battling one illness after another. Everyone was sick with the flu on Christmas and I didn’t bother sharing any pictures taken as we all look miserable.

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Feverish Biscuit days before Christmas

Even with all of the germs & miserableness of the last few months, I’m grateful. None of us needed medical intervention and we are all very well on the road to recovery. After this is all said & done, I’ll still have my babies to hug. I know that sounds morbid, but it is something I’ve thought about a lot lately.

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Christmas Eve & all the babies are sick

I posted a few weeks ago about #TeamRiver & efforts to help a local friend whose child was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma. My heart has been a bit heavy since then, but seeing how quickly our community has come to their aid has been a beautiful silver lining!

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Almost all better!

As we approached 2015, our health was steadily increasing. I finally was able to start the doula course I had been enrolled in since November and was looking forward to using blogging to help me keep track of the books I need to read as well as my thoughts on them. (Aside from reviews that I was already obligated to and the occasional Wordless Wednesday, I know my posting has been sparse.)

Just after the start of the new year, a mom posted in a closeknit local Facebook group. She had seen us all come together many times before including #TeamRiver efforts and even rallying behind her when she was harassed for nursing in public. This time, she really her mama tribe; her sweet nursling had fallen asleep forever on New Year’s day. I know that I am not the only one who cried and reached for my babies after reading her post. How do we help? We are all doing our best to offer words of comfort or a shoulder to cry on. A meal train was started and I made spaghetti because it seemed like the most comforting of comfort foods, especially for her older daughter. A GoFundMe account has been set up to cover costs that may arise and our community is still sending her family our love and support.

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Getting started...

I expect my posts will still be few and far between for awhile. I’ve got a lot of reading/work to do for my doula certification and I’m really hoping to focus on it intently for the next few months. When I’m not doing that, I suspect I’ll be gratefully hugging my babies and sending loving vibes to all of the mamas with hurting hearts.

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We got the keys to our current rental in April. Until this past weekend, the lawn had only been mowed once.

Texas is dry. Our lawn is mostly weeds and even they have struggled to survive. Did the lawn look messy? Yes! Did it need to be taken care of? The HOA hadn’t said anything yet. 😉

My husband and I had both commented on it a few times, acknowledging that the lawn would need to be mowed soon. I told him on several occasions that I believed someone (possibly a neighborhood kid) would come by & offer to cut it for cash. It would be nice to pay a person instead of a business for something like this and hopefully they’d be willing to come back every so often to maintain it. Let’s face it, we weren’t getting it done ourselves.

On Saturday there was a knock at the door as we were getting ready to go run errands. My husband stepped outside. I couldn’t make out what was being said, but I did hear an older gentleman say “Please”. There was so much behind that one word that I already knew we would be helping him if possible. When he came back in my husband said the man had asked if he could cut our grass & told me a more than reasonable price. The look on his face told me he had also heard a lot in that “Please”. “Of course! Yes!” I said as I pushed him back to the door.

We took our time getting ready to leave for the day. Soon there was another knock on the door. I asked my son to please get a bottle of water for the gentleman as my husband and I stepped outside. The yard looked much better, of course. My husband paid him, being sure to give him a bit extra and handed him the water. We stood there chatting for a few moments with him admiring Muffin as she smiled shyly at him from my arms. We will see him again in a few weeks to cut the backyard and will likely request his help as long as we live in this house.

Our day had started like most and I was a bit stressed trying to get everyone ready for errands when he first arrived. When we left the house, I was much in a much more appreciative mood. Being able to say yes to someone’s plea is a great feeling. I’m so glad we let the grass grow.

October is always a tough month for me and this year has been harder than previous years. On top of my emotional distress, I feel very burdened mentally.

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I posted about this project, but didn't mention the mess on the table & fighting.

When Cupcake & Cookie were little, I had the internet, but there was no Pinterest or Facebook. I am sure I had typical mom worries, but life with Biscuit & Muffin has been much different.  I spend most of my day feeling like a crap mom. Those few times I feel awesome, a quick peek on Facebook will bring me down a notch.

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Breastfed, messy & a hint of 'tude, the real Biscuit ❤

“Yes, I fed all the kids today. We played/read books/watched movies/had an okay day. If I was really a good mom, I would’ve turned it into a science lesson/abstract art project/college essay practice. I suck.”

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They steal my food and make messes with it!

My internal dialogue as I browse my newsfeed is very negative. Throw in my usual October gloom & this has been a very hard month to keep in touch with people! I’ve found that as much as I don’t want to withdraw from friends & family, trying to keep up with them through this venue has not been healthy for me this month.

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They occasionally tandem nurse, it usually winds up like this.

I deleted the Facebook messenger app (it was really draining my battery!), deleted the Pinterest app, & turned off push notifications from Facebook on my phone. I’m actively trying to enjoy my time with the kids and remind myself that this time is precious. I am spending it well, even if it’s not how others would spend it. I feel better not reading overachiever status updates on a daily basis & the guilt has lessened.

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We never make beds & probably have too much screen time.

I am a good mom & I know I’m not alone in my feelings. I’ve seen a few friends write about it, my sister-in-law blogged about this topic recently, and a good friend checked in on me via text to remind me of this. Everyone puts the best version of themselves online. It’s unrealistic and can push people away without you even realizing it. I’m making a concrete effort to share my real life when I post about it (be here or on Facebook). My life is messy, chaotic & amazing. Those crappy parts are as much a part of my life as the Pinterest perfect moments & I don’t want to push their importance aside.

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This about sums it up.

Do you post about a realistic version of your life or just the glossy magazine edition?


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