Jens2Cents

Under Pressure

Posted on: 10/17/2014

October is always a tough month for me and this year has been harder than previous years. On top of my emotional distress, I feel very burdened mentally.

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I posted about this project, but didn't mention the mess on the table & fighting.

When Cupcake & Cookie were little, I had the internet, but there was no Pinterest or Facebook. I am sure I had typical mom worries, but life with Biscuit & Muffin has been much different.  I spend most of my day feeling like a crap mom. Those few times I feel awesome, a quick peek on Facebook will bring me down a notch.

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Breastfed, messy & a hint of 'tude, the real Biscuit ❤

“Yes, I fed all the kids today. We played/read books/watched movies/had an okay day. If I was really a good mom, I would’ve turned it into a science lesson/abstract art project/college essay practice. I suck.”

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They steal my food and make messes with it!

My internal dialogue as I browse my newsfeed is very negative. Throw in my usual October gloom & this has been a very hard month to keep in touch with people! I’ve found that as much as I don’t want to withdraw from friends & family, trying to keep up with them through this venue has not been healthy for me this month.

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They occasionally tandem nurse, it usually winds up like this.

I deleted the Facebook messenger app (it was really draining my battery!), deleted the Pinterest app, & turned off push notifications from Facebook on my phone. I’m actively trying to enjoy my time with the kids and remind myself that this time is precious. I am spending it well, even if it’s not how others would spend it. I feel better not reading overachiever status updates on a daily basis & the guilt has lessened.

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We never make beds & probably have too much screen time.

I am a good mom & I know I’m not alone in my feelings. I’ve seen a few friends write about it, my sister-in-law blogged about this topic recently, and a good friend checked in on me via text to remind me of this. Everyone puts the best version of themselves online. It’s unrealistic and can push people away without you even realizing it. I’m making a concrete effort to share my real life when I post about it (be here or on Facebook). My life is messy, chaotic & amazing. Those crappy parts are as much a part of my life as the Pinterest perfect moments & I don’t want to push their importance aside.

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This about sums it up.

Do you post about a realistic version of your life or just the glossy magazine edition?

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1 Response to "Under Pressure"

I turned off that darn Facebook app, too! Real life (and Mommyhood) is messy. I like that you will be sharing real life. Who knows we might start a revolution.
XOXO

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